The Price Of Happiness (Part I: Why You Can’t Argue With A Cheapskate)

If money CAN buy happiness, will you be willing to pay the price? Or will you conscientiously ask for a good bargain?

This discussion about whether or not money can really buy happiness has been nagging me for days on end. It all started when I got a dreadful comment from someone at work. We were having lunch at this posh Japanese restaurant in one of the classiest high-end malls in the metro (it was an invitation, I wouldn’t spend so much on food on a regular basis). I’ve always been a good participant in their conversations, which consist mostly of high-end brands of clothing, overpriced food and coffee, a hundred-thousand-peso collection of shoes, etc., albeit not knowing a thing about it. I don’t share the same appreciation for the branded, upscale lifestyle.

So there we were, talking about which brands they patronize for shoes, or the peso value of the food they just had in some God-knows-where resto, how much they spend for knick-knacks this and that. Then the question landed on my plate: What things do I spend mostly on? And then I stared straight at the wall trying to think of something to say. Well, I do drain my wallet for books. But in retrospect, the most I really spent on books in one stop was less than P5,000. That’s really not much of a “spending” if you ask me. And I do buy really good guitars but it still won’t amount to much.

So will I just spurt out some random thing or will I tell the truth—that I DON’T spend on anything at all? So I came to the safest choice, to tell everyone that, to be honest, I really don’t SPEND on anything in particular. Then came the comment: “You’re such a CHEAPSKATE.”

It was offensive, alright. But come to think of it, hell, I really am a cheapskate. It never occurred to me that I am probably so conscious about my finances that I am forgetting to enjoy my hard-earned money. I rarely shop for clothes, the most expensive piece of clothing I bought was a pair of jeans close to only P2,000. Not much on shoes either, the most I spent was around P3,500 for an Italian-made flats. Not on bags, too, the most expensive of which was about P4,500 a friend of mine got from the U.S. As for accessories, I got my hand-me-downs from my mom and my grandma. Make-up, the average U.S. drugstore variety. And for food, nah, I always go for the exotic, spicy Southeast Asian dishes that barely cost much. No, I’ve never been in a club. No, I’ve never eaten a thousand-peso steak. No, I’ve never bought myself a decent watch. No, not a single bling-bling. And no, never designer shoes. But should that be such a big thing?

Not that I can’t afford it, I can tweak my finances so well it can even accommodate an Antarctica cruise if I wanted to. But the weird thing about it all is that whenever I buy those kinds of things, I would always get the after-purchase regret. And then I would swear I would never do anything like that again.

To echo the famous maxim “Money can’t buy happiness”, I think that perhaps it needs a little adjustment: Money CAN buy you happiness if you spend it on something that makes you happy. And something that would make that happiness last.

People would think I'm a weirdo or that I’m a righteous bitch. But that’s how it’s been with me. The most dreadful feeling one could ever possibly get is regret after a mindless purchase. It almost always destroys my happiness bubble. Because I couldn’t risk feeling remorseful after buying something, I would think twice, maybe thrice, on whether or not I should buy this. Most of the time I would end up buying a cheaper variety, and sometimes end up not buying at all.

Studies show that people respond differently to money. Some are happy to buy jewelry, others prefer to spend it on expensive food. Some are happy to buy fancy clothes and bags, others have bigger priorities like a kid to send to school. As for my case, I happily scrape all my savings for books. I would gingerly stash away extra cash for an out-of-the-country trip. I would spend lavishly on musical equipment. I hand my younger sister her weekly allowance for school. And I am also happily paying up for insurance and stock investments.

And for me, this is the price I pay for happiness. This is, for me, money WELL-SPENT. I’d rather keep to it than dine in a fancy restaurant or splurge on the latest gadget. I’m not saying that spending on these things is not good. Like I said, it all depends on what makes you happy and what will make that happiness last.

I do believe, however, that one shouldn’t judge a person by the way he/she chooses to spend money. That’s just reckless and insensitive and downright stupid.

And, yes, I’m a cheapskate, a scrooge, a miserable dork, however you want to call it. But I’m good that way, thankyouverymuch.

This 2013, i shall/shan't...

…update my blog more often.

Nah, let’s face it. New Year’s resolutions are all but taken for granted. Was there ever a time in our lives that we actually did what we’d pledged to do? Well, lucky for us if we do manage to stick to one or two, or if we could at least remember that, oh, I’ve accomplished a New Year’s resolution!

Perhaps it’s also because we tend to always make the most absurd of declarations on the vaguest of things. Take this for instance. New Year’s resolution: I promise not to be late for work. I mean, come on. How can you ever pledge not to be late for work?? It’s not like you can actually control the flow of the early morning EDSA traffic. Or how fast your building elevator can go. And even if you do get to manage the traffic or the elevator, you would always switch off your alarm clock when it goes off at an earlier time anyway. That’s because your will is mightier than your words. So what’s the point of going the trouble of making resolutions for the New Year?

Of course you will, well, if you do make your list a little less ambiguous and a bit more doable. And if you stick to them religiously. Mine wouldn’t be a New Year’s resolution, more like a list of stuff that I’d try to avoid doing this year. So it goes like this:

1.       Putting off replying to text messages at a (much) later time. OK, I’m guilty of this. I use a Blackberry and my closest friends are all in my BBM contacts list. So if it’s a text message, it would definitely be someone outside the circle, which will be attended to later on. And which is cruel and unforgiving. I know. So now, I promise to reply to text messages as soon as I get them.

2.       Buying overpriced hard bounds. I'm a booklover, ‘nuff said. So buying outrageously pricey books is perfectly understandable. Or so I thought. Because to be honest, the hideous salary I get from my job wouldn’t be enough to sustain this kind of lifestyle. Plus, there are cheap paperbacks and ebooks available everywhere. So now, I promise not to spend too much on expensive hard bounds if I can help it.

3.       Being too lenient with my diet. Modesty aside, I am one of those fortunate girls who don’t gain too much weight regardless of how many rice meals I stuff myself with for days on end. But well, obviously, that wouldn’t be for long; sooner or later I would have to bear with a thick frame. And I am actually looking at a thickening flab of skin on my tummy. So now, I promise to exercise regularly and be serious with it.

4.       Being comfortable with old tunes. I belong to that group of weirdoes who never seemed to grow up when it comes to their tastes in music. Well, you can’t blame me for remaining faithful to the musical geniuses of yore. They’re just irreplaceable! But the world goes on spinning and you can’t always stay glued to your corner when music and the whole world start moving. So now, I promise to listen to new songs from now on.

5.       Being too reluctant to leave home. I grew up a certified homebody and there are still a lot of times when I prefer to stay at home even when the whole world outside is turning into one big party place. I knew I was missing a lot staying inside my hole and all that. So now, I promise to go out and experience the world as much as I can.

6.       Not exerting too much effort on my looks. I’m not actually a party person as evidenced by Resolution No. 5, which means I don’t usually go as far as dressing up and prepping my face. My make-up is stashed away unnoticed and my clothes aren’t actually that fashionable. And this has reduced me to a mere speck of dust in a sea of beautiful women. So now, I promise to dress up, put on make-up and simply look good.

7.       Traveling once a year. Last year, I’ve been to five different places in the country and two international destinations and the feeling was exhilarating! It’s like the most perfect thing in the universe, experiencing life away from the city you grew up in and discovering, learning things. Once is not enough and will never be. So now, I promise to travel, travel and travel until my feet can endure!

8.       Mind is elsewhere during work time. Guilty as charged. I wouldn’t be writing this down if I hadn’t noticed how less productive I’ve been the past year because of too many things going on in my head. It’s difficult being a marketing person; it’s a job where your brain is at work 24/7. There were moments I caught myself staring at an imaginary landscape or Alt+Tab-ing to Facebook while doing some overdue paperwork. So now, I promise to F-O-C-U-S on work and to be more productive.

9.       Always having a hard time saying NO. This has been a very big problem for me, getting caught up in a lot of things when I’d rather not be part of any of it. I know I always try hard to please everybody, well not really try hard but trying too hard. That’s because I don’t want to start an argument and be the object of extreme dislike. But the result?—hating myself more and more for not doing what I really wanted in the first place. So now, Imma say NO whenever I want to.